This Phone With a Giant 94-Day Battery Life Is the Best Gimmick I’ve Seen in Years

I hate charging my phone. That’s among the most privileged complaints I’ve ever put out into the universe, but it’s my truth.

I don’t like to put my phone down even for a second — what if I miss a chance to rot my brain with social media or one of 700 emails containing coupons for the Meta Quest store?

But just because putting your phone down to charge is inevitable doesn’t mean it has to be frequent. Turns out it could be almost quarterly — especially when you have a gigantic, ridiculous power-bank-turned-phone made by none other than Energizer.

Big Boy Battery

It’s Mobile World Congress (MWC 2024) and as a result, we’re getting some pretty amazing and ridiculous concepts like this Lenovo laptop with a transparent screen. That now includes a phone with a — and I’m not joking — 28,000mAh power bank attached to it. This behemoth, dubbed the Energizer Hard Case P28K, is a product of Avenir Telecom but comes with Energizer branding. If that’s not fitting, I don’t know what is.

In case you’re wondering what 28,000mAh translates to in everyday battery language, that’s about 2,252 hours of standby time or, um, about 94 days. Not too shabby! Of course, if you’re actually using this thing, that figure goes down a bit. Just a measly 122 hours of talk time. I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty tapped after just an hour on the phone — imagine several dozen?

As you might imagine, a phone with a battery this large comes with some downsides. For one, this thing is absolutely humongous, clocking in at about 28mm thick. There’s also the fact that you do have to charge this sucker eventually, and while there’s no official word on how long it takes to get a full battery inside the P28K, I can imagine that the process won’t be quick. If you’re curious, this thing also uses 33W charging, which isn’t terrible, but isn’t really fast. For reference, the iPhone iPhone 15 and 15 Pro models are capable of up to 27W peak charging speeds.

And if you’re actually interested in the phone part of this phone (you shouldn’t be), it comes with a MediaTek MT6789 chipset (no Qualcomm here, sorry), 8GB of RAM, a max of 256GB storage, and a 6.78-inch LCD display. This is a battery first and a phone second.

When Can I Buy Energizer’s Battery Beast?

You’re going to have to wait a little bit before you can finally put your battery anxiety to rest. The Energizer Hard Case P28K comes out in October and will be available (sorry) everywhere aside from the U.S. Price-wise, it’ll be fairly affordable to carry around the world’s most gratuitous battery — erm, phone. The P28K launches at €299 or about $324.