The 8 Best Weird Little Guys in FF7 Rebirth
The Final Fantasy series excels in designing these tiny freaks.
The weird little guy title isn’t just given to any old creature you find off the street. It’s a combination of vibes, design, and an untenable aura that permeates throughout. From Skull Kid in The Legend Of Zelda: Majora’s Mask to Fez to pretty much anyone in Super Mario Bros. Wonder, video games are chock full of weird little guys ready to fight you, delight you, or sometimes both. But one gaming franchise stands above the rest in this crucial category.
The Final Fantasy series excels in designing these little freaks, and FF7 Rebirth is no different. Now that the sequel to 2020’s FF7 Remake has finally arrived, Inverse presents out definitive guide to the eight best weird little guys in Final Fantasy VII Rebirth, presented below in no particular order.
8. Baby Chocobos
I know what you’re thinking, how can a Chocobo be a weird little guy? Well, these babies have a weird plant cap on their butts that are both odd to look at and leave a lot to the imagination. The sprout on the cap implies that something is growing there. What are they growing? Where does it go when they reach adult form? Is what they are growing street-legal? Without the answers to these questions, the baby Chocobos must remain on this list.
7. Yin and Yang
Yin and Yang check all of the boxes for a weird little guy. They toe the line between being absolutely haunting in their design while still captivating an audience. It’s a two-headed buff humanoid wearing a turtleneck with two head holes. The two little black wings attached to their back give “we have Sephiroth at home” energy.
6. Capparwire
The Capparwire is a creature you don’t want to invite to the family barbecue. Mainly because it’s a wild card and you’re never quite sure what it might do. Swinging its two tentacles like a Crazy Daisy sprinkler might turn some people off. However, the more you stare into their soulless eyes, the more you want to know.
5. Donberry
Now, we’ve all seen a Tonberry before, but not everyone has seen the Donberry. Tonberries are quintessential to this list and Rebirth gives us a whole new version of them to soak in. The Donberry’s heart tattoo brandished with the word “love” on the shaven side of its undercut begs more questions than answers alongside its giant Timberland boots, maybe it really is a New Yorker at heart.
4. Sandhog Pie
The Sandpie Hog is a pretty generic enemy in Final Fantasy VII Rebirth, however, that doesn’t stop it from making the list of our weirdest little guys. Any little guy who spends their time with their tongue out as much as the Sandhog Pie deserves to be recognized. It’s simply here to vibe, and casually drain a bunch of your health, but let's focus on the former.
3. Moogle
Moogles in Final Fantasy take on different design philosophies and small details based on which entry. Most recently in Final Fantasy XVI, they decided to give Moogles a vein in their antennae, which is certainly a choice. Rebirth ditches the vein for a depiction that is a bit more rabbit-like. The more I look at these Moogles the more I never want to see them again, even though they bring a jolly energy to the party.
2. Cait Sith’s Moogle
I know I just said I don’t want to look at any more Moogles, but something is intriguing about this one as a weird little guy. Mainly it’s the giant zipper in the back. I want to pull it and know what’s inside. This dude has nothing going on behind its eyes, but something behind the zipper, and I need to know more.
1. Kid G
Kid G is Final Fantasy VII Rebirth’s ultimate weird little guy. He feels like a Sonic character transported into a Final Fantasy game. Everything about him from his jacket to his boxing gloves makes him the ultimate contender. The proportions of his hands and feet compared to the rest of his body accentuate an already strange design. Kid G is a shonen anime protagonist hidden away from prying eyes.
Those are our picks for the weirdest little guys of Final Fantasy VII Rebirth. With a game so densely packed you’re sure to have your picks. It’s hard not to have a favorite with so many to choose from.
