Blaseball is back: Everything you need to know about the new season
Long live Jaylen Hotdogfingers.
Blaseball’s creators call their game an absurdist, player-driven, horrific version of baseball. All of that is true, but really describing Blaseball in any satisfying capacity is difficult. It’s like The Matrix in that way. You just have to see it for yourself. Whether you’ve participated in the mass hysteria that is Blaseball before or you want to wrap your mind around its unique brand of chaos for the first time, be prepared. Opening Day for Blaseball’s 2023 season arrives soon.
When is Blaseball Opening Day?
Opening Day kicks off Blaseball’s new season on January 9, 2023. Before then, you can check out the Blaseball website to sign up for updates and watch a weekly draft that sorts players into teams for the next season, or just get a feel for the game’s inscrutable lore.
Is there a Blaseball Opening Day trailer?
Yes, and it’s definitely worth watching. The short animated trailer for Blaseball’s next season provides a quick summary of what the game is all about for newcomers who are understandably confused about the whole thing.
The new season of Blaseball should be an ideal time to join in.
What’s new for Blaseball in 2023?
According to developer The Game Band, the upcoming season will introduce “a revamped website, new social features, and plenty of untold horrors beyond our mortal comprehension.” Lovely.
The new social features are likely to be a big deal here. Playing Blaseball means taking part in its shared, play-driven narrative and up to this point, fans have communicated mostly through social media rather than through the game itself. Changing that up for the next season will definitely change the game — we just don’t know how yet.
The other big new thing is the launch of the Blaseball app for iOS and Android. In previous seasons, you played Blaseball exclusively through the game’s website. While that will still be an option, you can now use the app to do everything the website allows, including “communicating with fellow Fans.” The app launches on January 9, along with the start of the new season.
How do you play Blaseball?
Gameplay in Blaseball is mostly about betting. The Blaseball website (and now app) airs simulated games entirely through text, and players can bet on their favorite team or just read all the bizarre nonsense that happens during games. Betting on the winning team earns you credits that you can spend to change things about the league. Measures on the ballot include everything from randomly shuffling players or deleting entire teams to opening the Forbidden Book that fundamentally changes the game.
Aside from that, Blaseball is about sharing the experience with other players. Fan art and player-created recaps are just as much a part of Blaseball as the game itself.
The app and new social features could shake that up in a big way with the new season. Given that the entire League was consumed by a black hole at the end of the last season, any of this could change when play resumes.
What is the Blaseball story?
Oh, that’s a tough one. Blaseball is essentially a baseball league turned into a horror story by the whims of eldritch gods. Players and whole teams are regularly killed, resurrected, or transformed, making it tough to keep up moment-to-moment. The best way to catch up on everything that’s happened in Blaseball is the watch this official playlist recapping the most events important so far.
Catch up on the story of Blaseball in just two perplexing hours.
Admittedly, there’s an awful lot going on here and even a close reading will likely leave you confused. A maybe more manageable option is just heading the the Blaseball website and reading some of the individual teams’ stories. That won’t give you the full picture of events, but it will introduce you to the general vibe of Blaseball, which is in many ways more important than the story itself.
The key thing for understanding Blaseball isn’t following all the events of the story; it’s being willing to accept whatever absurdity is happening at the moment. Sometimes every player on a team has the same name. Sometimes a player named Jaylen Hotdogfingers gets incinerated by an umpire. Sometimes the Blaseball Gods show up to make things even weirder. The fun of Blaseball is experiencing it with other players.
As The Game Band notes, the black hole at the end of last season is essentially a reset for the game, so you probably don’t need to be up-to-date on the game’s arcane lore to enjoy it anyway.
