Ask an Algorithm: What to Do With Thanksgiving Leftovers and Pickles

In lieu of employing an advice columnist, Inverse uses a Python script and some light math to average out the many, many, many opinions the internet has on any given subject. This remains an imperfect science.

Dear Algorithm,

I’ve just come back from Thanksgiving with lots of extra food. I’m a terrible cook, so this is basically what I’m living off for as long as I can. How long can I make lunches of leftover turkey and stuffing before it starts to get weird and/or I get sick?

Hungry in Hoboken

Dear Hungry,

I almost look forward to the meal after dinner, immediately cube up half the remaining turkey and package it up into quart-sized freezer bags, about a cup or two each portion, depending on the season, or buy a mixed bouquet of flowers, split it up, and fill two small mason jars with the blooms.

You can’t possibly eat all that food you buy, no matter how cheap it was at the store. So, be sure to check your refrigerator for lurking ingredients in the freezer for up to six months. Sure, you’ll likely never eat it, but that brick of mashed potatoes will be a warm reminder of the easiest items.

After all, you can substitute a turkey sandwich, try turning your leftovers, that’s a completely different spin. Use that leftover turkey. Experts say cooked food can only remain at room temperature for about two hours. Freeze the rest.

It’s far better than throwing the food away. Sharing Thanksgiving table scraps with pets can be a good non-cooking thing to do.

Dear Algorithm,

My family loves to make our own pickles on Thanksgiving, but the problem is, it smells up my whole apartment when I eat them at home. I can tell my roommate doesn’t like it, but I’ve got a right to my food, right? What’s the best way to enjoy my questionable-smelling food while still being a good roommate?

Considerate in Colorado

Dear Considerate,

Humans certainly can make some aspects of life tricky. And clearly, there’s rules to having sex when you have roommates as you want to be treated. For comparison, a rabbit has 100 million of these olfactory receptors, and a dog 220 million. Things like passive aggressive sticky notes and frowny-faced Snapchats are not misinterpreted.

The human nose is in fact the main organ of taste as well as smell. The so-called taste-buds on our tongues can only distinguish four qualities — sweet, sour, bitter and salt — all other ‘tastes’ are detected by the olfactory feats of bloodhounds, but we can, for example, ‘track’ a trail of invisible human footprints across clean blotting paper.

Things like passive aggressive sticky notes and frowny-faced Snapchats are not misinterpreted.

For comparison, a rabbit has 100 million of these olfactory receptors, and a dog 220 million.

Don’t let these issues bottle up until they result in an argument. Friendship is more fun than fighting. If you don’t say anything, your roommate! Face-to-face communication so you’re both comfortable coming to each other with issues.

When residents are living in a small place with someone they’re just getting to each other with issues.

No one wants to be chillin’, preparing a nice macaroni-for-one and hear you or your partner bellowing dirty talk in a way that doesn’t leave a lot of mystery.

In addition to cramming your stuff into every open corner, having a roommate makes total sense when you ask for some silent time. Remember the golden rule, and treat your roommate means taking another person’s mood and feelings into account on a daily basis.

Remember the golden rule, and treat your roommates, at least a little bit. Then you have roommates makes total sense when you have to stop being polite and start being polite and start being real.

Part of being real includes getting laid. And clearly, there are a few things they’ll want to remember to keep everyone’s sanity intact.