Sirfetch'd: 'Pokemon Sword and Shield' corrects 21 years of injustice

Of all the original 151 Pokémon, the angry leek-wielding bird Farfetch’d is perhaps my single favorite, probably because of his hilarious, grouchy debut in Episode 46 of the anime. For 21 years, one of Pokémon’s greatest tragedies has been that this — the coolest and most amusing of the original Pokémon — never received an evolution and always retained horrible stats. That meant despite the Pokémon’s excellent appearances on the show, he never had a viable place in any team of Pokémon. On Wednesday morning, however, the Pokémon Company announced in a new video that Farfetch’d was finally getting what he deserves in the upcoming Pokémon Sword (but not Shield?), a noble, glorious Fighting-type evolution called Sirfetch’d. And he’s an absolute unit.

This stark white smug lad peeled back the layers of his leek from days spent as a Farfetch’d to transform the whacking stick into a veritable lance worthy of King Arthur’s best knights. In fact, Sirfetch’d seemingly sliced off the leafy green tip of his leek to fashion a shield — and to make his lance much more pointy. “In battle, Sirfetch’d uses the sharp stalk of its leek as a lance and the thick leaves as a shield,” the official description says.

The broader Galar region is based off the real-world United Kingdom, and the theme music playing during the Sirfetch’d vidoe make him seem like a gallant Medieval Highlander knight from Scotland. We’re here for it.

Unlike the hot-headed and oftentimes dubious Farfetch’d, every Sirfetch’d is “a noble knight that fights fair and square.” That’s according to a new blog post on the official Pokémon website, anyway. “They are calm and collected, and they make a point of always battling fairly,” the post reads. In the Galar region of Pokémon Sword, Farfetch’d evolves “after experiencing many battles,” which probably just means it evolves at a certain level.

“They are so noble in battle that they are often chosen as a motif for paintings,” the post continues. “Of particular note is a painting — famous in the Galar region — that depicts a duel between a Sirfetch’d and an Escavalier.” Where do I find a print of this famous painting that I can hang in my apartment?

Escavalier were around in Gen V and VI but not VII, so it might be an indication that this Bug/Steel Pokémon will be the Shield exclusive. If that’s the case, then Nintendo might have a problem on its hands. Everybody is going to just buy Sword instead so they can access Sirfetch’d.

One incredible fact everyone should know: The original Farfetch’d form is classified as “Wild Duck Pokémon.” At 2’7”, it weights 33 pounds on average. As Sirfetch’d, it gains a whopping 224 pounds with no increase in height — unless you account for the lance that’s more than double the length of its body. Where’s he hiding all that weight? In his godly fighting style.

“It maintains this leek over the span of many years and treasures it more than anything,” the blog post also says. “When its leek finally withers, Sirfetch’d will leave the battlefield and retire from battling entirely.”

Who cares about Scorbunny, Sobble, and Grookey? How do I get a Farfetch’d as my starter so I can unleash the awesome power of Sirfetch’d?

Pokémon Sword and Shield will be released November 15, 2019.