Uber Eats vs. Postmates: Which App Delivers Food Fastest and Is Cheapest?

The hosts of Squad Up, the Fortnite talk show, take it upon themselves to test the overall performance of two leading food delivery apps: Uber Eats and Postmates. They each order the exact same food from the exact same restaurant at the exact same time. Two orders arrive, but only one can be the Supreme Food Delivery App.

To begin, they first found a restaurant that is available on both apps, which turned out to be surprisingly difficult. Ultimately, they landed on a pizza place that was roughly one mile away in which they both ordered a personal 12-inch pizza with pepperoni topping. Delicious, yes, but this pizza would be playing a much more important role than just a yummy late-night snack.

The scoring would be based on overall experience, though speed would also be taken into great consideration. The other factors include price, presentability, and any discrepancies between ETA and actual arrival time.

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As soon as both hosts placed their orders, they first compared the overall price for each delivery order. On Uber Eats, the subtotal for a 12-inch pepperoni pizza came out to $16. On Postmates, the same order came out slightly below at $14. After taxes, service fees, and delivery charges, the total charge on Uber Eats was $20.41, while Postmates secured the first point with a total of $19.23. They did, however, have more substantial hidden fees, but not enough to tip the scale in Uber’s favor.

Postmates: 1. Uber Eats: zilch.

Once they received their estimated arrival time for each order — which is usually totally inaccurate but still instills a sense of hope in the orderer — they placed both orders at exactly 9:03 p.m. The estimated arrival time for Uber Eats said 9:39 p.m., while Postmates had an ETA of 9:49 p.m.

Then, they waited.

Once the first pizza arrived, the second came mere minutes later. It was a photo finish, to be sure. The first delivery man reached into his comically oversized backpack and pulled out … a Postmates bag. Though it seemed the clear winner was decided, he informed the hosts that he was here with their pepperoni pizza by, wait for it, Uber Eats. Wait, what? Who is this man, anyway?

“I used to work for Postmates, didn’t like it, so I got a job with Uber Eats instead,” he told the hosts, “but I kept the Postmates bag anyway.”

So there you have it. Uber Eats secured the victory with their double-agent delivery man. The true Postmates delivery came about five minutes later, receiving a silver medal. An admiral effort.

For more editions of This or That, be sure to follow Squad Up on YouTube and Twitch.