The 35 Best "Days Without Sex" Tweets

Involuntary celibacy isn’t always a joke, but when it is, it’s pretty damn funny. The trending “days without sex” meme format pairs everyday actions with NSFW connotations as a result of the number of days its author has gone without intimacy.

The joke recalls the similar sex humor in memes like the “no nut” challenge, where participants posted increasingly fictitious accounts of the side effects of masturbation withdrawal. “Days without sex” replicates the absurdity of memes like “pee after sex” while abstaining from “nice guy” sentiment and embracing gender-neutral participation in the meme. The results are refreshingly delightful.

The open-ended format also encourages diverse styles of humor, from surrealistic shit-posting to punny one-liners and observational quips.

It’s not entirely apparent who or what account started the “days without sex” trend, but some of the earliest tweets utilizing the format were posted as far back as 2016. Several accounts have already been tweeting nothing but “days without sex” jokes, but most of them seem to be copied directly from other tweets.

There’s still plenty of original content to go around while this meme enjoys its brief stay in the sun. Like most simplistic formats, it’s a little too stale to be an evergreen meme. But in the meantime, Twitter is revealing a lot — too much, in some cases — about its sexual fervor.

Some of the tweets are raunchier than others. Reading through some of these made me wish I was Jared, 19.

Some examples rely on quotes from other media, like Vines. Is it just us, or are Vines becoming so repetitive in meme culture that they’ve lost all sense of humor? Please, six-second comedy gods, deliver unto us Vine 2.

It takes a special kind of Twitter user to come up with some of these wild admissions.

Some of these tweets deserve a laugh. Others elicit tears of woe.

If you do choose to tread the waters of Twitter’s aggravating search engine, be warned: some of the popular iterations of “days without sex” are decidedly not politically correct (and thus, omitted from this collection).

Y’all are really going to use Al Gore’s internet for this, huh?

Yes, I chuckled. I’m not proud of it, and I won’t admit to it in court.

This tweet, one of the most popular out of the lot, is oddly reminiscent of an incoherent Tana Mongeau Storytime vlog, but you didn’t hear it from us.

The following three tweets include two of the best and one of the absolute worst uses of the “days without sex” format. Can you guess which is which?

Put all these tweets together in chronological order and you’d have a modern The Yellow Wallpaper.