Entertainment

This Week's Odds: The Longevity of Male Strippers, Greece's Economy, and The Grateful Dead

The future, by the numbers.

by Sean Hutchinson
YouTube.com

Here at the Odds HQ we pride ourselves on our betting abilities, and though we don’t want to get in the habit of saying we told you so, when it comes to the USWNT winning the World Cup on the 4th of July weekend we’ll have to give that a big ‘ol patriotic WE TOLD YOU SO. Here are some other bets to keep an eye on.

1. Magic Mike XXL Will Be the Summer’s Box Office Sleeper Hit

The headlines after the first weekend of Channing Tatum’s stripper sequel read that it’s already a big financial letdown, but if the movie teaches you anything it’s that size (at least initially) doesn’t matter.

Despite Magic Mike XXL opening to a relatively meager take of just over $26 million, which pales to the original’s nearly $40 million first-weekend-haul, it already made back its budget. Plus, Tatum and the Kings of Tampa are bound to have modest staying power just like the original. The sequel is ecumenical fun, but its outrageously high 96 percent female turnout will make it perfect overly-macho blockbuster counter-programming for the ladies looking to hit the theaters this summer.

Over/under on Magic Mike XXL’s box office total: $140 million

2. Greece Will Exit the Eurozone in 2015

The island convention that gave us Zeus, Socrates, and togas is going through a wee financial problem of mythic proportions at the moment, with the entire country on the brink of bankruptcy. Over the weekend the country voted to reject the EU’s proposed multi-billion euro bailout plan, which would have been the second such austerity measure for the Mediterranean country in the last ten years. So what does this rejection mean? Greece is still in deep debt and the economy is getting worse. But by rejecting the bailout, Prime Minister Alexis Tsipras hopes that the country will take its financial problems into its own hands by abandoning the monetary restrictions it will undoubtedly face if it keeps the euro as its main currency. The only way out now is to adopt its previous currency, the drachma, and try to pull itself out of deeper and deeper debt.

Odds that Greece will leave the Eurozone and make it rain with drachmas in 2015: 11 to 8

3. The Grateful Dead Will Play Music Together Again

Deadheads everywhere shed a tear and took a rip from their oldest bowl this past weekend as the seminal jam band took one last strange trip onstage. To mark the Grateful Dead’s 50th anniversary, the four living founding members (Bob Weir, Phil Lesh, Bill Kreutzmann, and Mickey Hart) played a series of three shows at Chicago’s Soldier Field dubbed “Fare Thee Well,” which was allegedly the last time the four will ever play together again as the Grateful Dead. Whether it’s a conscious effort to not keep playing before they actually are dead (each member is in his late 60s or early 70s) or just a marketing gimmick remains to be seen. True to form, jam bands tend to keep playing long after their alleged final shows are over, so we may see the Grateful Dead plug in once or twice down the road again.

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Over / under on the amount of time it will take before the Grateful Dead plays music together again: 3 years

4. The San Antonio Spurs Will Win the NBA Championship Next Season

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The Golden State Warriors were just crowned the champions of the NBA. Twenty-eight other teams could give a fig. The winners of the free-agent period are almost certainly perennial contender San Antonio. The Spurs scooped up power forward LaMarcus Aldridge from the suddenly denuded Portland Trail Blazers. (At least Portland still has Carrie Brownstein and Fred Armisen.) Though we’re still predicting LeBron and the Cavs will eke out a Finals win for poor Cleveland, the Aldridge move could be just what the aging Spurs need to lift another banner.

Odds the Spurs will win the NBA Finals next season: 15 to 1

  1. Jim Webb Will Get the 2016 Democratic Presidential Nomination

Wait, there’s another person foolish enough to throw his hat into the 2016 Democratic race for president? Yep. Former Virginia senator Jim Webb decided to enter the Thunderdome last week and will add his name to the list of people trying to beat Hillary Clinton, though she’ll probably crush him within an inch of his life (in the polls, that is). Trying to get the Democratic ticket against Hillary seems like a perfect way to waste millions of dollars, but fellow candidate Bernie Sanders’ recent boost in the polls shows she isn’t as indestructible as once thought. Webb may not make it to the White House next year, but he’s a great reminder that even in politics there’s no such thing as a guarantee.

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Odds that Jim Webb will win the Democratic Nomination: 50 to 1

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