SNL's 'Stranger Things 3': These Kids Have Weird Weird Powers

We know that Eleven gets a slight nosebleed after she uses her telekinetic powers in Stranger Things, and there are probably others just like her, given her numerical name.

Writers on Saturday Night Live explored this probability in their own way on Saturday, while creating room for host Natalie Portman to portray Eleven, acknowledging the internet’s collective realization that Portman looks like a grown-up Millie Bobby Brown, the actress who plays Eleen.

SNL imagined what other super-powers and side-effects might be on Saturday night. Here’s a rundown:

• Fourteen (Beck Bennett) can start fires with his mind, but he pukes in his mouth a little.

• Nine (Cecily Strong) can read people’s minds but she farts when she does.

• Another kid (Pete Davidson) can “run really fast like the Flash, but every time he does, he gets a boner.”

• Another one (Luke Null) makes fantastic chili, but his brain starts bleeding every time he does.

• Eighteen (Aidy Bryant) can do a “pretty good Borat impression” but she goes into a coma for two days every time.

• Fifty (Leslie Jones): “I’m just 50 years old. I have good credit, I own my own condo and I can leg-press 375, so take that you dumb kids.”

• Three (Keenan) is good at thinking of ways to end sketches.

And “Winona Ryder is evil all along” is the tacked-on text at the end of the sketch. Does SNL know something we don’t?