The Rejected Synopses for 'Batman v Superman' Would've Been Amazing

Next year comic book fans will finally see two of its biggest titans clobber the hell out of one another in Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice, and Warner Bros. has just released the official synopsis.

It’s not much of a spoiler, unless you weren’t expecting Batman and Superman to do much v.’ing:

Fearing the actions of a god-like super hero left unchecked, Gotham City’s own formidable, forceful vigilante takes on Metropolis’s most revered, modern-day savior, while the world wrestles with what sort of hero it really needs. And with Batman and Superman at war with one another, a new threat quickly arises, putting mankind in greater danger than it’s ever known before.

Did you see that? The world’s greatest danger ever, you guys. Not that you care: All that matters is seeing Batman and Superman duke it out, whether they’re beating each other to a bloody mess or in line at Chipotle debating whether to go bowl or burrito.

And yet. Sources close to Inverse have revealed several of the rejected plot summaries based on earlier drafts of the script. They included:

Crash landing from a distant alien planet, Superman finds himself lost in a suburban neighborhood and befriends a young boy named Batman. As their connection grows deeper, Batman hides Superman from his family, friends, and the government as Superman tries to phone home.

Would’ve been a classic.

While attending a Christmas party in L.A.’s high-rise Nakatomi Plaza, the hard-boiled cop Batman, caught without shoes, confronts master terrorist Superman and his squad of Eurotrash goons as they hold everyone, including his ex-wife, hostage.

Your friends would claim to watch it every Christmas.

FBI agent Batman is sent undercover to infiltrate a small band of adrenaline-seeking master thieves, led by the enigmatic Superman. As Batman’s friendship with Superman deepens, Batman is forced to choose between loyalty to his job and to his new brotherhood of joyriders.

This one would probably get remade 20 years later.

Disillusioned with his yuppie lifestyle, Superman strikes a bond with renegade soap-maker and part-time banquet waiter, Batman. Together they found an unspoken club where men like them bare-knuckle box to unleash their aggressions. But as Superman begins to see Batman’s designs go much deeper and darker, the club evolves into a larger social revolution.

Spoilers: Superman is actually Batman!

At the height of World War II, American fugitive Batman operates a nightclub populated with criminals, runaways, and high-ranking officials in Casablanca. Out of all the gin joints in the world, his old flame Superman walks in with husband and notorious resistance figure Victor Laszlo (Jesse Eisenberg), and they seek Batman’s help to escape from the German forces tailing them.

“Green Lantern, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”