The Keurig for Cocktails Is the Solution to a Problem No One Has

The Somabar is basically a boozy version of a Keurig machine, those single-serve coffee machines your mom got for Christmas one year, which was funded via Kickstarter back in January. Their original crowdfunding goal was $50,000, but donors who thought "Hmm, yeah, I'd rather just push a button to get drunk" drove the campaign total past $300,000. Great job, people. You've put your minds, your wallets, and your penchant for laziness together for the common inebriation. Yet we must ask: Do we really need a booze machine like the Somabar?

Purchase one of these doodads, then gleefully rip open the box, top it off with bottom-shelf booze, and wait the hilariously quick 5 seconds the video below guarantees it takes to make a cocktail. But on second thought, $429 is steep for a gadget that neither comes with alcohol nor does anything we haven’t already trained chimpanzees to do for us. If you’re the kind of person who stocks your bar already, then you probably don’t think fixing a drink is much of a hassle to begin with. In fact, you probably enjoy making your own drink.

With sales of single-serve beverage machines like the Keurig or Sodastream steadily declining, the Somabar may have missed the slight trend window for the height of liquid-leaking contraptions. It would seem then that the Somabar is nothing more than a kitschy trend, destined to be a hot ticket that people will forget about in a few years. Or the next morning, depending.