Entertainment

Forget 'Cursed Child,' Bring on Hermione Granger Time Lord

by Lauren Sarner
Flickr / ansuz_magazine

Everyone knows that Harry Potter never would have passed History of Magic — let alone defeated Voldemort — if it wasn’t for Hermione Granger. And yet instead of offering a fascinating angle on the tale from Hermione’s point of view, the most recent addition to the canon, “eight story” Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, followed Harry’s kids through a series of dubious rabbit holes.

Luckily, enterprising fans have stepped up to fix this, with a mock-up of what the books would look like from Hermione’s perspective. Unsurprisingly, it features a lot of exasperation and getting shit done.

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban becomes Hermione Granger and That Time I was a time Lord; Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix becomes Hermione Granger and That Time Harry Was Too Emo To Actually Do Shit so I did Shit In His Name Because I am The Power Behind the Throne, Clearly also PS I Fought Evil Death Eathers and Won, and Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince becomes Hermione Granger and that Time I Told Harry about The Dangers of Copying off Sombody Else’s Work that Wasn’t Mine and OH LOOK I WAS RIGHT.

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If J.K. Rowling is going to continue adding to the Potter canon for the foreseeable future — and all signs from this year point to yes — she should really consider presenting Hermione’s version of events.