Because the World Wasn't Dumb Enough, Here's a Hands-Free Urinal

Alexander Graham Bell and the telephone. Thomas Edison and the light bulb. The Wright Brothers and the airplane. All famous inventors and iconic inventors, but get prepared to add a new set to that legendary list: Miguel Angel Levanteri and the Urinary 2.0, a high-tech, hands-free urinal that cleans and washes not just itself — like any boring old urinal — but also the penises of all who use it. When people in the 1950s imagined living in some impossibly advanced, fully automated future, surely this is what they were thinking about.

Levanteri is one of three Spaniards behind the Urinary 2.0, as La Info reports. He is working with biochemist Eduard Gevorkyan and economist Ivan Giner to sell the patent for the invention for about 750,000 dollars. But let’s not trouble ourselves with money manners: Why exactly did these guys set about creating a hands-free, penis-washing urinal?

The La Info report credits Levanteri as the idea man here, as he approached Gevorkyan and Giner with the initial concept. They suggested adding a hands-free component, with sensors that would recognize when the user had finished urinating and was ready for cleaning. What this implies is that, if the hands-free bit was added in later, Levanteri’s original pitch amounted to just being “Hey, wouldn’t it be great if a urinal could clean your penis once you’re done using it?”

The full description reads like a dumb joke — and, let’s be honest, there’s every chance this whole thing is an elaborate prank, but let’s just roll with it as real, because that’s more fun. La Info indicates the urinal creates a “water curtain” that washes and cleans the penis in three seconds before the dryer kicks in, with warmer or cooler temperatures used depending on the time of year.

Gevorkyan also makes a point that this urinal will work for any male user, regardless of penis size, because as he puts it, “for anyone in the world may be discriminated against,” which, fine. He also says that they are interested in developing a similarly revolutionary toilet system for women because, once more, “there is no discrimination.” Good to know we’ve got such humanitarians making the toilets of tomorrow.