Ranking The Best And Worst of 2016's Gaming Armor For Women
Are the days of boob plates and ass-less chaps finally behind us?
Sexism in video games has been a hot button topic forever, but modern games have made significant improvements to actually include female characters and dress them like normal humans. Are the days of pushup boob plates and ass-less chaps finally behind us? Let’s see how these 2016 titles measure up.
XCOM 2
XCOM 2 allows for a lot more character customization(https://www.inverse.com/article/11036-i-made-the-x-men-in-xcom-2-and-here-s-how-it-worked-out-for-me) than its predecessor. It’s great to have more options, and greater still when none of those options involve removing practical clothing from your female character. All characters, regardless of gender, get full coverage, modern, protective gear.
Darkest Dungeons
Sure, a modern military game can get it right, but how about a fantasy game? A round of applause for Darkest Dungeons, which does a damn good job of dressing its lady heroes. Other than the fact that the Plague Doctor stole my winter look, my only gripe is Hellion’s… garter straps? Thigh high stockings? Either way, those aren’t staying up in the heat of battle.
Hellion
Dark Souls 3
While the costumes are mostly very practical and analogous to the excellent male versions, this game’s elaborate character creator has caused a pretty gross obsession with crafting the right “recipe” for the hottest possible woman, down to preferred nostril size and eyelash length.
Far Cry Primal
Sayla’s getup in Far Cry Primal is not particularly useful as protective gear, since it’s a bunch of raggedy animal skins. However, props to this game for giving her more covering clothing than the male characters (even silly drunk cavebro). Plus, those moccasins look hella comfortable. On the downside, the overall lack of pants in this game does seem unpractical for riding mammoths.
Banner Saga 2
Folka is a great addition to Banner Saga 2, a game that has gorgeous character design and does a pretty good job of giving all its characters normal clothing. Folka nailed the sensible and comfortable warrior outfit, although it would be nice to see her get at least a helmet.
Overwatch
Overwatch has some mega badass ladies in its impressive character lineup, with armor that is, for the most part, appropriate to their skills. Zarya wins for practicality with her tough, heavy protective padding that could have topped this whole list. That’s why its puzzling the same creators that seem aware the laws of physics still apply to breasts, dressed The Widowmaker the way she is. Sure, she’s a sniper that doesn’t see intense combat, but no woman has ever felt more competent while her boobs were falling out of her shirt. This is a terrible neckline for scaling buildings and creeping around.
Street Fighter V
Even for a game where characters are supposed to have over-the-top personas and appearances, this game is a wedgie-filled nightmare of yikes. Even the most sensibly dressed have weird spider hair. At worst, these ladies’ breasts defy both physics and normal human anatomy. Street Fighter V misses that point entirely.
The most egregious offense is R. Mika. She wears fabric only in the places she doesn’t really need to, like criss-crossed under-butt straps and a ruffly collar. Beyond the gravity defying boob window, the other woman pictured below is living a chafing induced hell. 0/10.
