Culture

The Donald Trump Has Tiny Hands PAC's First Attack Ad Is Kinda Dumb. Sad!

We had such high hopes, and all we get is a "release the measurements" joke?

by Jack Crosbie
Americans Against Insecure Billionaires With Tiny Hands

The Trump Has Tiny Hands Political Action Committee started off so well. At first, they were a hilarious contender in the world of PACs, the driving force behind campaign propaganda.

Not even a direct order from the Federal Elections Commission could throw them off their game. When they were forced to change their name (can’t have a candidate’s name in your name unless said candidate gives the OK), they rather wittily rebranded to the “Americans Against Insecure Billionaires With Tiny Hands PAC,” which worked just as well.

The Trump has tiny hands joke stemmed from an altercation the candidate had with fellow candidate (and possible robot) Marco Rubio, who insinuated that Trump’s hands were sub-average. During the next Republican debate, Trump defensively segued to talking about his penis, one of the night’s many highlights.

“He referred to my hands — if they are small, something else must be small. I guarantee you, there’s no problem,” Trump said.

The PAC’s first attack ad on Trump, while admirably committed to the joke, sort of falls flat. It’s basically a minute-long reiteration of the core joke, including a line that founder Henry Kraemer has been telling for months.

“When a call comes into the White House at 3 a.m., will Donald Trump’s tiny baby hands be able to lift the phone receiver? This is something Americans should know before voting,” he told The Hill back in March.

Watch it for yourself here:

Sure, the gag with the tiny doll hands in the suit jacket is pretty good, but come on, the man is a goldmine of political humor.

But it’s okay, because we still have this absolutely ludicrous Japanese Donald Trump advertisement.

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