Gaming

Is The Rock Actually The Pokémon Machamp? An Analytical Investigation 

The similarities between the wrestler and fighting Pokemon are too stunning to ignore.

by Jordan Zakarin

On Monday, the actor/wrestler/alarm clock entrepreneur Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson posted a photo of himself weight training, which is a common occurrence. But within his fiery motivational message attached to the photo, Johnson slipped in a certain phrase that had Inverse’s collective eyebrow arched as high as the Brahma Bull’s. Johnson suggested that his Fast and Furious character Luke Hobbs had to “grow and evolve,” which, while typical Hollywood screenplay talk, is also language used by Pokemon trainers.

And while it could be a coincidence, further investigation suggests that this was no simple example of the limitations of colloquial English. We believe it was a coded confession from Johnson.

Simply put, there is ample evidence to suggest that Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is the Pokémon Machamp. In fact, once examined, it becomes so apparent that the most mind-boggling fact is that it took nearly two decades for anyone to figure this out. Allow us to explain.

Championship physiques

The first thing you will notice is that both The Rock and Machamp value physical fitness — so much so that it provides their livelihoods. They are both cut beyond belief, with muscles beyond anyone in their industry. The Rock is the most muscular man in Hollywood; Machamp literally has two extra arms of muscles. Though no one can confirm that this is also true of The Rock, it has yet to be disproven.

Wrestling moves

Before he became an actor, Johnson was a professional wrestler. How’s this for happy accident: Machamp has a devastating move that just happens to be called the Rock Smash.

Nintendo

Funny story: one of Johnson’s signature moves was called the Rock Bottom. Machamp also has a move called the Smack Down. Guess who often threatened, to great fanfare, to “lay the smack down” on candy asses of various skills, hmm? You’re right. It’s The Rock.

Their pre-match showmanship is also too similar to ignore. Look at the way Machamp eggs on his opponents:

And now check out The Rock’s taunt:

You’ll notice that The Rock has a WWE World Championship belt slung over his shoulder. He was known as The People’s Champ. Machamp is a specially evolved fighting machine, and always wears a championship belt.

Mission Statement

The Rock is obsessed with working hard; that’s why he posts so many Instagram photos of himself working out, and even released an alarm clock app that wakes people up with his motivational speeches. It just so happens that the mission of the Pokémon trainer is to be “the very best, like no one ever was.” If he was working for a trainer, don’t you think that would filter down?

The Eyebrows

One of Machamp’s most prominent non-muscular features is his large, arched eyebrows. They give his face a knowing look, like he’s not only beating you brainless, but he’s enjoying it, and knows you can’t beat him. Guess what? The Rock’s signature expression was something known as… The People’s Eyebrow.

WWE

It’s a lot to take in, we know. But it’s also important to fully digest the irrefutable evidence presented above, because the possibilities it presents are endless. Pokémon: Not just real, but embedded in the souls of our greatest celebrities and icons? There are 722 Pokémon species right now, and who’s to say that they can’t inhabit multiple people? After all, there are many Machamps. In fact, we could all have Pokémon inside of us… like the original theme song stated, we have to understand the power that’s inside…

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