33 Things We Learned from the New 'Game of Thrones' Season 6 Trailer

The official Game of Thrones Season 6 trailer is here, with actual footage instead of troll-tastic vague voiceovers and creepy faces. And although Jon Snow isn’t present at first glance, signs of Jon Snow Lives are all over the place. Here’s our painstaking breakdown.

Jon Snow is fine, guys

Just because we’re getting actual footage, doesn’t mean HBO won’t snow-tease us and exploit Jon’s death for all it’s worth. We open to a shot of the short-reigning Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch, looking much the way he did when we last saw him. He’s just resting. Really. This image is proof #1 that Jon Snow Lives.

Cersei Is Apparently Still Talking To Jaime After He Indirectly Got Their Daughter Killed

When we last saw Jaime, he was sailing away from his ill-fated Dorne trip. After an obviously insincere and poison-laced goodbye kiss from Oberyn’s vengeful paramour, his daughter drops dead in his arms. Tough break. To make things more awkward: recall that his daughter’s finacée, Trystane Martell, is still on the boat with Jaime and Bronn. Perhaps Cersei isn’t siccing the Franken-Mountain on Jaime yet because he offered her Trystane to poison — as revenge for the revenge.

Human Flayage is Unfortunately Still a Thing

Right before this shot, we see Ramsay. Right after it, we see Melisandre. Which one is responsible for this kill? Is Ramsey being a dick or is Melisandre sacrificing someone to resurrect Jon? Seeing as how there’s an army and the person is upside-down, we’re going to go with Ramsay. For now.

Daario and Jorah’s Least Excellent Adventure

Game of Thrones sure loves it’s buddy-cop road trip pairings, and they’re usually delightful (Arya and the Hound, Jaime and Bronn). But Season 6’s pairing of Daario and Jorah, two men friend-zoned by the same woman, doesn’t promise much besides moping and resentful glaring. Also recall that Jorah is slowly turning into a rock-zombie man. That should make for fun travels.

Daenerys is In Dorthraki HQ

When we last left Daenerys, she had just been captured by the hostile forces of her former people after her dragon ran off and she stopped to have explosive diarrhea. No, sorry, that was the book. Thank the Many Faced God that the show omitted that last part. Now, it looks like Daenerys is being taken to the Dorthraki home city, as the horse statue helpfully indicates. This will be the season she storms King’s Landing with her dragons, guys! Really!

Sansa Looks Healthier, Happier, and Northern-er. Queen of the North?

After disappointing many people with her Season 5 story arc — even inciting many viewers to rage-quit the show, Sansa may be back her old Vale days self, when she awesomely impressed even Littlefinger with her manipulation skills. She looks resolute, serious, commanding, and every inch a Stark. She’s doomed.

Tyrion Is Skulking Around Dark Hallways With Torches

When we last saw Tyrion, he was left to rule Meereen while Daenerys peaced out on her Dragons, Diarrhea, and Dorthraki adventure (the title of a spinoff show coming soon). Now, it looks like he’s up to a familiar activity: Clandestine meetings in the darkness. Is he going to murder someone else while they’re on the toilet? Is he escaping because Meereen is a bureaucratic nightmare? Thanks, Daenerys? Anything is possible with Tyrion.

Lancel Lannister Is Still A Creep

It’s hard to say which version of Lancel Lannister is creepier: The girlish-looking shrinking squire who slept with his own cousin, or the religious zealot. Either way, he’s still at it with his face targets. His survival odds should be stellar.

The Franken-Mountain and Cersei Are Going To Fuck Some Shit Up

When last we saw The Mountain, Cersei’s creepy with-doctor pal Qyburn was working on resurrecting him in his lab. We then saw him in all his silent yet sentient Franken-Mountain glory, when he scooped Cersei up after her humiliating Walk of Shame. Now that a super strong and obedient warrior is at her disposal to use as she wishes. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.

Now for the fights

Fights on cliffs! This looks like Ramsey and his crew of Just 20 Good Men; but it’s hard to say.

Fights in Gloomy Dungeony Places!

This looks like members of the Night’s Watch — perhaps checking on Jon’s body to find it missing.

Tommen Still Exists

That’s cool, we guess. The real question is: where is Ser Pounce?

Jon Snow Lives Proof #2

Fights on horses! Could one of those feet belong to Jon Snow? Someone, get your foot-analysis software, break into Kit Harington’s house, steal his shoes, and go! Just kidding, leave poor Kit Harington alone.

Fights on boats!

Or just, you know, boats. Could this be Gendry returning at last? Probably not, but we can dream.

Fights with Arya!

Arya is getting bitch-slapped, most likely by that annoying girl who may or may not be Jaqen in disguise. Presumably, right after this scene, Arya slaps her back.

Littlefinger Lurks in Woods

Just out of range, three prostitutes are diddling each other while hanging upside down from trees. Below them, Littlefinger muses about life, power, and how chaos is a ladder. Littlefinger just wants to watch the world burn. But he might have better luck in a less snowy place.

Margery is Still In Prison

From the look on her face, Tommen isn’t even bringing Ser Pounce by to cheer her up. Teenagers really do make the worst husbands.

Jon Snow Lives Proof # 3

Hear us out. Although these figures are sheathed in darkness and there’s no way to tell who they are, you know who else is sheathed in darkness? The Night’s Watch vows begin, “I am the sword in the Darkness.” Jon has also done his fair share of forest-skulking in the darkness with his pals. This is definitive proof he lives; there’s no other possibility.

Theon’s Head Is Getting Toilet-Swirled in the Iron Islands

The Iron Islands, aka the Greyjoy family headquarters, are going to be in Season 6 This is exciting to book fans because they’re jazzed about a thing called a Kingsmoot. It’s decidedly “meh” to show-fans, because Theon and his family have never been interesting. We’ll see how it goes.

Cersei and Jaime Are Still Twincesting

That’s cool, we guess. On the one hand, come on, Jaime. You’re better than this. On the other hand, you’re more interesting when you’re fucked up, so carry on.

Brienne Will Not Spend All Season Watching A Window For a Candle, Only To Wander Away When it’s Actually Fucking Lit

She will actually do things this season, including fight some people in the woods.

Jon Snow Lives Proof #4

Melisandre sees kings in flames and does weird things with leeches. This is clearly her hand, and she’s performing a resurrection ceremony. That’s the only possibility, and we won’t take anything else for an answer.

Jon Snow Lives proof #5

Now that Stannis is dead, Melisandre can only get naked for someone if she sensed they had King’s blood. When last she saw Jon Snow, she was mightily interested in him. Therefore, who could she be stripping for but Jon himself?

They’re only covering his eyes so we don’t see they’re open

He’s alive. He’s fine. Really.

Arya Continues her ninja training

Apparently, she cans fly now, and she doesn’t need to wear dresses anymore, because that was weird. We accept both of those things.

Fights on Hills

Could the Brotherhood Without Banners be making a re-appearance, after being in the Well of Abandoned Plots for three seasons?

Jon Snow Lives Proof #6

Ever since Tormund casually beat the Lord of Bones to death in “Hardhome” — just for implying he blows Jon — he’s been pretty much the best. He’s not going to take kindly to Jon’s death. This can only be his revenge rampage.

Fights on battlefields

Shit is going down this season, guys. They’re not fucking around.

Fights on King’s Landing

It turns out the High Sparrow’s policies aren’t popular. Who knew?

Fights with Dorthraki

Bran Stark Standing

No, he isn’t suddenly un-paralyzed. According to the actor, he’s going to (helpfully) see past events — like the Tower of Joy— in dreamy Inception style footage. Presumably, that’s the face one makes after learning who Jon Snow’s mom on Snow’s mom really is.

Bran Stark hanging out with the Night’s King

Remember the “come at me, bro” moment the Night’s King had with Jon Snow in Hardhome? He’s taking it one step further and having a conversation with Bran.

Jon Snow Lives Proof #7

Who else could Davos be talking to at the end when he says, “I’ve never been much of a fighter. Apologies for what you’re about to see?” What are the about to see? White Walker Jon? Davos getting epic revenge? Can it be April 24th right now?

Here’s the trailer in its entirety.

Season 6 premieres on April 24th, and it looks insane. Better guard your HBO Go password like it’s the Iron Throne itself.