Who Would the 'Suicide Squad' Members Be if They Were on 'Downton Abbey'?

Suicide Squad has naturally garnered comparisons to other superhero ensemble films like Guardians of the Galaxy and The Avengers, with some fans going so far as to make mash-up trailers. But why restrict ourselves in comparing Suicide Squad to only Marvel and DC fare? Pop culture’s other biggest squad of miscreants and ne’er-do-wells — Downton Abbey — may stealthily be the most apt parallel.

Sounds crazy, right? No crazier than having to kill off Matthew because Dan Stevens got too big for his britches. Like, who saw that coming.

El Diablo would be Lady Edith

As Rick Flagg helpfully explains in Suicide Squad’s trailer, “This guy burns people.” Similarly, Lady Edith nearly burns the house down in Downton Abbey Season 5. Coincidence that both have such an affinity for fire? We think not.

Harley Quinn would be Lady Rose

Lady Rose, much like Harley Quinn, is a modern woman possessed of an infectious smile, a healthy sense of fun, a romantic Rolodex her family doesn’t approve of, and a penchant to give approximately zero fucks.

Katana would be Tom Branson

Tom Branson is a loyal chauffeur, just as Katana is Rick Flagg’s loyal bodyguard. Neither is likely to steal a scene, but both provide a solid presence and a surprisingly emotional punch, as Katana will probably be one of Suicide Squads inevitable casualties.

Deadshot would be the Dowager Countess

Deadshot is a world-class assassin, always on point. You know who else is always on point with perfectly aimed zingers? The Dowager Countess. Further, consider this: Will Smith, Maggie Smith. Is it a coincidence they have the last name, or is it a secret clue?

Rick Flagg would be Carson

Butler Charles Carson is stern and often pissed, running the house with a steady hand. Sounds like someone else we know: perpetually irritated suicide squad leader Rick Flagg, who will prove to be far more interesting than he appears.

The Joker would be Thomas Barrow

Downton Abbey’s Thomas Barrow is the closest thing the show has to an agent of chaos. He’s done all manner of devious schemes, like plotting to get John Bates fired, blackmailing the Duke of Crowborough, manipulating Daisy. He also likes clocks, while the Joker likes arranging knives in a clock-like formation and lying in the middle of it. They’re practically the same person: As Barrow has no shirtless scenes, who’s to say he’s not as tatted-up as Jared Leto’s Joker under his clothes?

As Suicide Squad already has a natural crossover with Fast & Furious franchise, thanks to David Ayer, we eagerly await Suicide Squad’s third sequel after 2 Suicide 2 Squad, Suicide Squad III: The Skwad Drinks Tea.