Flamin' Hot Mtn Dew is as hellish as its name implies

Andrew Paul May 17, 2022 Reviews I took a break from my regularly scheduled reporting to taste test the latest Mountain Dew monstrosity. Andrew Paul / Input

You may have already heard whispers of the latest unholy brand partnership from Mtn Dew, but let me assure: Flamin’ Hot Dew is very real, and you should be very afraid. Mtn Dew

I recently returned home from an out-of-town trip to discover this gigantic box at my doorstep, waiting there for me like some abandoned infant. Andrew Paul / Input

Inside...

Contents included:

- 1 bottle Flamin’ Hot Mtn Dew - 1 bag Flamin’ Hot Cheetos - 1 invite to coronation of Flamin’ Hot Dew as the official drink of Hell, Michigan (feat. DJ Pauly D and “Chef” Action Bronson) - Flamin’ Hot themed temporary tattoos - 1 Flamin’ Hot Mtn Dew hand towel (?) - ( Pièce de résistance ) 1 Flamin’ Hot Mtn Dew fanny pack Mtn Dew Mtn Dew

What was I supposed to do with a Flamin’ Hot Mtn Dew hand towel? Drape it over my face to hide from God as one does while eating an ortolan while I sample the decadent, cruel brand alliance? Same goes for the temporary tattoos — do I really need to emblazon myself with the Mark of the Beast? The fanny pack, however... Andrew Paul / Input

Hell yeah. Andrew Paul / Input

At long last, the taste test...

I gotta say, Flamin’ Hot Mtn Dew is... fine? Kind of. It’s unfortunately nothing spectacular, and leans too far into the Dew side of the palate versus the realm of Flamin’ Hot. There’s a bit of that flavor on the backend, but honestly Mtn Dew should fully embrace its Cocktail from Hell. Andrew Paul / Input

Okay. But what about Flamin’ Hot Mtn Dew experience for the real heathens among you?

That’s right. A goddamn Flamin’ Hot Mtn Dew martini. Equal(ish) parts soda and vodka, garnished with a crushed Cheeto rim. Look upon my works, ye mighty, and despair... Andrew Paul / Input

Tasting Notes:

So, should you track down some Flamin’ Hot Mtn Dew? Well... that depends. Do you like novelties, regardless of whether or not they live up to their premise? Then have at it. But Baja Blast, this is not. As for the Flamin’ Hot Mtn Dew Martini... Andrew Paul / Input

Flamin' Hot Mtn Dew is as hellish as its name implies

Inside...

Contents included:

At long last, the taste test...

Okay. But what about Flamin’ Hot Mtn Dew experience for the real heathens among you?

Tasting Notes:

‘Dew’ not try at home.

Thanks for reading,
head home for more!

Contents included:

Tasting Notes:

Thanks for reading, head home for more!

Thanks for reading,
head home for more!